Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
True strength comes from lack of pants
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
