I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
