Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
