I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
