I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
