Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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