Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
