I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
