I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
