I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
