the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
