Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
