guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.