Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
