I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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