I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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