If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
