There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
its not stalking. its research.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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