I take back everything I said about communal showers
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
