He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
