he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
