I wanna passion pit in your ass
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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