YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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