never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Randomize
