so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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