As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
