do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
