I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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