They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
