i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
