dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
