A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
