I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
