ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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