Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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