saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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