You smell like a Billy Joel song
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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