I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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