: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
