So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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