He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
