the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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