so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
