Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
