Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
