Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
