I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize