im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
