We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
