Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
