you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
