He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
