haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
