My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
