you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
tell me about the eggs
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize