just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
