Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
