I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Randomize