Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
