I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
