i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
