Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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