My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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