That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
