the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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