I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
