I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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