you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Floor bacon is actually really good
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
