I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
