i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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